Howdy

I slept in today, and I'm now contemplating what to do. Wash my car or go shopping? It's going to be sunny for the next couple of days, so the car can wait til tomorrow. I should get a part-time job, I saw a hiring sign at Jersey Mike's Subs. That can't be a hard job, "what do you want on it?" Maybe I'll go there, then go shopping. We went xmas shopping for the kids in our family yesterday, and found some cute stuff. I couldn't help buying myself the Kiss My Ass Happy Bunny slippers I'm wearing right now. Love em! Here's what the picture looks like.


Well, I'm going to go make some food and contemplate today some more.

Andy has found some myspace accounts for people we both worked with or served at Camp Drunkass. One of these people is a chick named Kerri, who is completey adorable and bubbly, and happy and fun. Everybody who meets her just loves her. Well she had this nifty little survey on her site which is here, and I decided to do the survey and post it. So, here it is.

And the Survey Says....

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Lisa
Birthday:	December 4
Birthplace:	Puerto Rico
Current Location:	Georgia
Eye Color:	Blue
Hair Color:	Blond
Height:	5'$"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right
Your Heritage:	Irish and Slavanian
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Tennies
Your Weakness:	Beer
Your Fears:	The past haunting me.
Your Perfect Pizza:	Xtra Cheese, peperoni, black olive, and artichoke hearts
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Complete Physical Fittness including No Smoking!!!
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	Hey Andy
Thoughts First Waking Up:	I need a cigarette
Your Best Physical Feature:	Eyes
Your Bedtime:	Varies
Your Most Missed Memory:	Being in Ireland
Pepsi or Coke:	Coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Micky Dee's
Single or Group Dates:	Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Neither
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Coffee
Do you Smoke:	Unfortunately
Do you Swear:	Yeah but I try not to
Do you Sing:	Yes, not very well mind you
Do you Shower Daily:	Yes
Have you Been in Love:	Yes
Do you want to go to College:	Check
Do you want to get Married:	Maybe
Do you belive in yourself:	Yes
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Yes
Do you think you are Attractive:	Yes
Are you a Health Freak:	No
Do you get along with your Parents:	Yes
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Love them!!
Do you play an Instrument:	Not really
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Yes
In the past month have you Smoked:	Yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	Nope
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	Yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	No
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	No
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	No
In the past month have you been on Stage:	Yes
In the past month have you been Dumped:	No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	No
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	Probably a lighter or two (inadvertantly)
Ever been Drunk:	Yes
Ever been called a Tease:	Yes
Ever been Beaten up:	Yes
Ever Shoplifted:	Once I stole a tube of chapstick
How do you want to Die:	What kind of question is that?
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	Writer and Stage Manager
What country would you most like to Visit:	Italy
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	Brown
Favourite Hair Color:	Dark
Short or Long Hair:	Short!
Height:	Taller than Me
Weight:	Medium to Large build
Best Clothing Style:	Casual but Neat
Number of Drugs I have taken:	Hmmmnnn
Number of CDs I own:	Who counts their cd's?
Number of Piercings:	10
Number of Tattoos:	2 homemade
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	Quite a bit
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

So, it’s a lazy Sunday and I’m drinking beer and trying to find something to watch on t.v. ( while I’m online too, hmmmm) I love the info buttons, helps you figure out if you want to watch a flick or not, or let’s you know if you’ve seen that episode of C.S.I. yet. It tends to save you some grief, because there are some movies you know you don’t want to watch if certain red-flag names appear.... Merideth Baxter, Woody Allen, Cher, John Stamos, Chuck Norris, Arnold Schwarzeneger (even though I used to LOVE the Terminator movies, and wouldn’t put it past myself to watch Terminator 2 again...or Junior…haha j/k ) , Sylvester Stallone, Morgan Fairchild, Madonna, Keanu Reeves. I’m sure there are others. Actually, positive. Right now I’m watching “Two Gun Lady” a fifties Western, there isn’t much on the tube, except Laguna Beach and like oh my god! she didn’t invite Jessica to her party!?! (I only read the info button- I swear!) (Well, I caught myself flipping back ONCE because I’m a reality T.V. junkie, but within a minute’s viewing I once again realized that OH MY GOD! It’s not reality.) And we’re not getting into a ‘what is reality anyways?’ shpeel. I’m a fan of sharp-shooting females yeah yeah! Femme Fatale! Allright, so that's my wisdom for the day- don't take for granted the info buttons your cable carrier gives you.

Don't have a whole lot to say.... been doing lots of thinking these days. I'll talk at you guys soon.

Had a major epiphany today. It came after I spent two hours or so writing, and then driving in traffic at dusk staring at the oversized yellow moon on the horizon. I couldn't stop staring at the moon.

blast from the past!!!!!!!!! Wu Tang Clan's 36 Chambers. I was browsing my friend's cd case this morning and found it. "Oh my god! I have to borrow this!" So I listened to it on my drive home, and I was transported back to being a 17yr old stoner. I was screaming with joy as each song came on. "Just your nuts on the dresser.... and bang them shits with a spiked f*%king bat.......keep feeding you and feeding you and feeding you.....M-E-T-H-O-D MAN" I haven't heard that album in so long!!!!!! Good stuff.

My father had to feed me for the first few days (weeks?) of my life. My mother was very sick after I was born. At some point soon thereafter he went back to sea.

We talked tonight for about an hour. He told me about when he came back from sea that first time after I was born. He had to re-acquaint himself with that little girl in the blue dress. And she was looking at him like she didn't quite know what to think of him. He could have sat up front with my mom, but he sat in back with me. I can almost imagine my reaction. The way little babies turn their necks real quick, look at you- and then look away. Kick their feet up and down.

We ended up talking about everthing from the military to the distilling process of spanish sherry (flor). I needed that. And there will never be an hug in the world that matches up to my father's hug. I'm a lucky girl.

that pic was quite painful. glad its gone now.

OH MY!

Jack Daniels and PBR

Let's step into Lisa's mind

Quitting my job a couple weeks ago has jolted me back into forward thinking: What am I going to do with my life?!? I found myself as a jobless bartender, with bills, with an Associate of Arts Degree, about to be 27, living at home (with 3 adults- with whom no matter how much I love them- drive me nuts), longing for privacy and independence, and just generally down on myself.

"What have you done with the past ten years LISA!!!?!!!"

The past week I’ve been job hunting, bar and otherwise. Although I'm very bright, have a degree, I'm accomplished academically, and capable of any job thrown at me from building a flat with crazy dimensions, to writing a brilliant review of a scholarly journal, to making that bloody mary with the horseradish and all- that my customers love oh so well; I am somehow not qualified for the mindless job of filing records in the back of some office. So I say to myself "Well, just go back to the bar, somebody will hire you."

I have this plan to go to the University of West Georgia in January to finish my Theatre and Comm. studies. In the past five years I've gone from wanting to be a Theatre professional to wanting to be a Historian to wanting to be a Theatre professional. (And within all this wanting to keep writing) The plan is well played out in my mind. I see my little shitty (emphasis on mine though) apartment, I see myself studying, working. But I have this nagging feeling, maybe it's just a fear, that I won't do it. Then I fear that if I go through with it, maybe I'll hate my job after its all said and done, and I should've gone after History after all.

This is where we step into my brain. I get the suggestion to join the Army and I'm like "No Way!" even though I know it is a route to independence, structure, income (enough anyways), career finding path blah blah blah. And I know that what I need is a SOLID PLAN. So a few hours later I'm actually thinking about it. I even look up the website, and after reading a little I was once again convinced that it is not the life for me, not at this point. It might've worked for me when I was 19. I was actually thinking about joining the Air Force at that point too. So I brain storm, "think: plan, structure, career." And I go back to the idea (I have many times entertained) of being a flight attendant. I look up all these airlines looking for job openings, and as I read the job descriptions I realize that it is like being a bartender but worse! I know how I get on a long flight, I remember all the assholes and headaches that go along with traveling, and realize that I don't want to be one of those people who have to put up with the bad attitude of every type of person imaginable. Then I start thinking about the fact that I was planning to go back to college.

I look up the U of West GA website, again, and I start looking at the classes I would be taking. I get all excited and go "Ooh, I'll take this and this and this my first semester. I could even take a history class for the hell of it." I go into the History classes and I start thinking "What if going for that Theatre thing is a mistake? What if I'm supposed to go into History and be a professor. Look at these classes! I would love to take that one!" Then I start to think well, if I went back to History (which I have my A.A. in), I wouldn’t have to go to Carrollton, I could go to a school in Atlanta.

All this in less than twenty-four hours.

GOOD GOD WOMAN, MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

What is wrong with me? I love so many things, and ideas, but am not willing to commit fully to any. I have got to get my act together. That's all there is to it. So I'm going to do some serious thinking the next few days about what it really is I want to accomplish, and then go for it damn it. I hate feeling like a space cadet. I'm too old for this crap.

I was reminded, and it is very true, that I need to look at how far I've come in the last few years. I did have some major setbacks in my career building history, some of them my fault, some fate. So there's really no room to be down on myself. I only need to keep moving forward (I see it as trudging along, swimming because it's the only option I have, living the roller coaster that is Lisa, but whatever).

So there it is. What I wanted to say today.

Evil Andy

Andy found a mug shot of me from when I was 18. I'd tell you how he found it, but I'd have to kill you. So, in the spirit of self-loathing (in which I am completely immersed these days) and having a good laugh at oneself, I have decided (and promised) to use it as my profile picture. Lap it up while you can because in one week the picture will self destruct.

I'm feeling the full force of worrying about finances, today's bills- as well as how I'm going to accomplish my short-term goals. I was driving down the road the other day listening to The Retro-plex on 99X, and the song "I'm An Adult Now" by The Pursuit of Happiness came on. Never heard it before, it cracked me up, and hit home too. 'I don't get drunk despite you, I get drunk because I want to....' 'I don't put chemicals in my body any more...' There was also stuff about going to work (money), not staying out late etc.

I'm going job hunting now. I've got a couple prospects to follow up, and going to just put myself out there. Adios